From Portland to Amsterdam via Seattle

From Portland to Amsterdam via Seattle

August 7, 2013  |  Big Picture, Blog, Thoughts, Travel  |  No Comments

As the plane rounds onto the runway from the tarmac and the engines started to rev to full acceleration, it begins to hit me: I’m leaving America. In the past month, I haven’t had time to think or feel anything. It has felt so surreal. Saying goodbyes to friends hasn’t felt like long goodbyes, but more of the sort of goodbyes said before a long vacation. I want to come back to Portland, but I want to come back more confident, secure in myself, what I do, much more experienced, and having crafted my talents into something more extraordinary. I want to have stories to tell, knowing that I have lived this God-given life to the best of my abilities.

I don’t know where this journey will lead me, but I’m happy for that. We spend so much of our life looking for answers, for some direction and guidance — but my life has always been lived in the tension between doubt and faith. Of the two, I lean more on faith because it is more beautiful in the mystery it holds. Do I really want to know exactly what will happen to me in five years? Isn’t the surprise what makes it beautiful?

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Ignorant Pilgrim

Ignorant Pilgrim

October 18, 2011  |  Blog, Thoughts  |  No Comments

This passage comes from Wendell Berry’s novel “Jayber Crow”. I’m heavily struck each time I read this. I relate so much to how the character, Jayber, feels here. I love this.

If you could do it, I suppose, it would be a good idea to live your life in a straight line—starting, say in the Dark Wood of Error, and proceeding by logical steps through Hell and Purgatory and into Heaven. Or you could take the King’s Highway past appropriately named dangers, toils and snares, and finally cross the River of death and enter the Celestial City. But that is not the way I have done it, so far. I am a pilgrim, but my pilgrimage has been wandering and unmarked. Often what has looked like a straight line to me has been a circle or a doubling back. I have been in the Dark Wood of Error any number of times. I have known something of Hell, Purgatory, and Heaven, but not always in that order. The names of many snares and dangers have been made known to me, but I have seen them only in looking back. Often I have not known where I was going until I was already there. I have had my share of desires and goals, but my life has come to me or I have gone to it mainly by way of mistakes and surprises. Often I have received better than I have deserved. Often my fairest hopes have rested on bad mistakes. I am an ignorant pilgrim, crossing a dark valley. And yet for a long time, looking back, I have been unable to shake off the feeling that I have been led—make of that what you will.”

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Directions to somewhere.

Directions to somewhere.

March 7, 2011  |  Blog, Thoughts  |  No Comments

Directions are a fickle thing. Who really knows where one is going all the time? Oftentimes I feel I never know until I get there. There’s too many roadside distractions and attractions, and ambiguity isn’t necessarily a full tank of gas. Who really knows what we want and/or need?

We’re all searching. We’re searching all the time. Sometimes we feel like we know where we are going — but mostly we feel like we’re lost. We’re not lazy, we just don’t know where to go.

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Ramblings on Now

Ramblings on Now

February 21, 2011  |  Blog, Thoughts  |  No Comments

In photography, the now becomes the past. The moment I press the shutter, the world is how I make it. I can make the past what I want it to be. I am comfortable with the past, with the present I am not, and with the future I don't know. Our past shapes who we are. But have we learned from our past? Like a teenager, we want to move quicker through life. Do we appreciate where we have been or where we are now? I have accepted the past but I do not accept the now....

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Didn't Like Classical.

Didn’t Like Classical.

February 14, 2011  |  Blog, Thoughts  |  No Comments

My first date, we went to see “Romeo + Juliet” at the movie theater. I awkwardly placed my arm around her. I did so though it really wasn’t comfortable (probably for the both of us). After the movie, we talked as we waited in the lobby to be picked up by her sister. Classical music came on over the speakers. She said she didn’t like Classical. I lied to her and said I didn’t either. Her name was Elizabeth — the first of many with the same name.

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Thoughts On Thoughts

Thoughts On Thoughts

February 13, 2011  |  Blog, Thoughts  |  No Comments

I've thought often about the use of this site. Part of me is content with the content on this site, though ill-content with my prolificacy. I manage to keep myself busy with various small and large projects across the board from photography, video, design to written words. When first building out this site, I was hesitate about calling it a "blog" and to an extent I still am (though I admit, it looks quite similar to such). Blogs to me seemed uninspired, and sounded like "filler-songs" to those who like whole albums-as-art....

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